Does a past hurt in your dating experience stopping you from experiencing romance head on? Did someone hurt you so much that you have developed a trauma against men and relationships? Do you blame yourself about it? Have you gone over and above it? Move on but don’t move away, live your love life anew in online dating
Mistakes are a part of life, we are only human- and they are a part of relationships. In a perfect world, we’d find that perfect guy without having to go through some other guys. But real life doesn’t work that way. rich dating Mistakes and failed relationships have to happen before your dreamboat could be with you. In the few cases that women have found “The One” on the first try, then those women were extremely fortunate not to go through heartache.
For the rest of us who have gone through painful relationship break-ups, one of the things that we can do is to rise above these mistakes. Let us move on and look forward to a better relationship, a better romance with our partners this time. Never think that you are doomed for an endless parade of losers in your relationships. It’s a glass-half-empty-glass-half-full thing. Just think of your past failed relationships as stepping stones to finally arriving at your perfect match. All failed relationships in the past, though hurtful, bring a lesson, which you can learn about and then avoid when you have already found a probable partner.
The first thing to rising above past mistakes is to acknowledge that you have a part in the failure, and that you have done something stupid. You would never correct something if you do not realize that your past actions were regrettable and stupid, and yes, partly your fault. Remember, it takes two to tango. It takes two people to make a relationship, and of course, also two to make or break it. It’s not completely your fault though, but at the same time, it isn’t really and completely your ex’s fault too. Once you realize that and come to terms with it, then you have developed a good trait: humility. just be careful and don’t turn this realisation into any kind of self-pity coupled with low self-esteem. Please remember that like you, all of us have failed in the past. All of us have something in the past, which we regret doing now.
Open your heart and accept those mistakes as they are lessons for you to learn from. Sometimes, it takes something hurtful for us to learn our lessons. Besides, as they say, experiences is the best teacher, and the best way to know and learn from your mistakes is to make them first. Realize that for the gold to be made perfect, it must go through the cleansing heat of the fire. Life is like that. What you think are fires of trials in the past, were actually cleansing fires, to make the golden potential within you really shine and stand out.
Have you seen the movie “Lost in Translation,” with Scarlett Johansson playing a young, recently-married woman who has several communication issues with her new husband? The thing about the movie is, it makes you realise that what you say and what you mean, may not necessarily mean the same as the person listening to the words you are saying. Especially if that person is a member of the opposite sex.
Love has this different, mysterious language that leaves most of us boggled. So let’s do a quick tutorial on what guys and girls think about different, common phrases that we hear:
- “You’re different from what I expected you to be.” This is the most common scenario especially when you have met thought online dating. What YOU think about the person may seem different from what they are in REALITY. We tend to romanticise and exaggerate our expectations sometimes. So what does a guy and girl REALLY think when they THIS phrase:
What She Really Means: Oh, my God. You sound like a different person on your e-mails! You really sounded so sexy, so different, so not the person I was thinking about! But now, I am so horrified and a whole lot embarrassed, and I can NOT even think of spending four totally long hours staring at you across the table. Someone help me. Better yet, let us both go home and save us all this drama.
What He Really Means: Oh. Well, hello. I don’t really fancy you, now that I’ve come to see you in person. Which is pretty weird and unusual. If you’re up to a one night stand, then I’m up to it too, as long as you promise NEVER to contact me ever again.
- “Would you like a drink?” Okay, so this is one of the first things that you say to your partner. Another variation would be, “Can I buy you a drink?” Well, this may just be a few words but they may well have a different meaning. Which depends according to the sex of the person saying it: What She Really Means: Can YOU please buy me the drink and act like a real gentleman should? Champagne would be nice. I’m going to the powder room for a bit, but when I get back, I expect that drink to be on the table. Okay?
What He Really Means: I am a big, strong, sexy, not to mention financially-capable man, who has the means to fund this evening. And, I also need a beer since I’m nervous. Really nervous.
- “Let’s sit there, it looks less noisy.” Oh, an invitation! But to what, exactly?
What She Really Means: Let’s sit over there since the lighting is going to do tons of wonders to my skin. It would be more flattering for me so let’s just GO.
What He Really Means: Let’s go over then and then we can cuddle up, if you know what I mean.